90 Reasons I Hate 90 Degree Weather

heat

  1. It’s too hot for 9 in the morning
  2. …And 10 in the morning
  3. …And 8 at night
  4. You purchase more water bottles, clothes, make up, deodorant, and popsicles
  5. …And because you buy more water, you drink more water, so you pee more
  6. Forget wearing any color other than black because that’s the only color that doesn’t show how much you’re sweating
  7. …And black is a terrible color to wear when it’s hot out
  8. Stupid mothers leave their babies in these cars and every year we have to read about one of them dying
  9. …And same goes for dog owners
  10. It’s too hot outside to function or think properly
  11. Department stores crank up the AC, making it freezing
  12. …And then you start to feel like you’re getting sick because of the constant change in the atmosphere
  13. You can’t wear your favorite jeans
  14. Because you can’t wear jeans you have to wear shorts
  15. Because you have to wear shorts you need to go buy shorts
  16. Because you have to wear shorts you have to be in shape to feel comfortable in them
  17. Because you have to wear shorts you have to shave
  18. Because everyone has to wear shorts, you need to see people in shorts, and not a lot of people look good in shorts
  19. Heat and humidity puts everyone in a bad mood
  20. ..And with that said, if you work in customer service I bow down to you
  21. Frizzy hair
  22. You can stand outside and do nothing and still work up a sweat
  23. You sweat before the sun comes out
  24. You sweat as soon as leave your house
  25. Everyone is sweaty
  26. You have to wait like 20 minutes at Dairy Queen
  27. Electric bills double until September
  28. You also can’t wear your favorite sneakers
  29. Because you can’t wear your sneakers you need to go buy sandals
  30. Because you have to wear sandals you need pretty feet (which no one has)
  31. Because you need pretty feet you need to spend money on pedicures
  32. Because you have to wear sandals you’ll need deodorant on your feet (though this probably only applies to me)
  33. …And with that said, you have to see a lot of feet
  34. The humidity makes your make up smudge and drip
  35. The humidity makes your sunscreen run
  36. …And the sunscreen will get in your eye and sting
  37. Forget having good hair days
  38. Public transportation never has AC
  39. …And a lot of sweaty bodies on public transportation with no AC is gross
  40. …Especially when there are armpits in your face
  41. Even your dog doesn’t want to go outside
  42. People will want you to go to the beach with them… beaches suck, they’re sandy
  43. Slippery armpits
  44. Body odor
  45. Ski resorts are closed
  46. Football season is still far away
  47. Hot cars
  48. The hot, metal seatbelt will scar and brand you
  49. Leather seats = seats of death
  50. Too many children are out of school and running around
  51. 90 degree weather wouldn’t be so bad if New England wasn’t so fucking HUMID
  52. Your clothes stick to you
  53. In general, anything over 82 degrees makes me uncomfortable
  54. Butt sweat
  55. You can only take off so many clothes to attempt to feel better
  56. Forget day drinking, your beer gets too warm
  57. …And day drinking in the humidity isn’t fun
  58. …And with that said, this heat is the only thing to make me hate alcohol
  59. You cannot escape the heat
  60. It’s too humid to be exercising outside or going for a run
  61. …And since you can’t exercise you’ll get fat
  62. Everyone else seems to LOVE the summer????
  63. I dare someone to please me more than my air conditioning
  64. I take terrible pictures in the summer
  65. My body glistens
  66. Everyone on Facebook complains
  67. Everyone on Twitter complains
  68. Everyone on WordPress complains
  69. …Shoot, now I hate myself
  70. Cooking in a hot kitchen
  71. Getting your oil changed you need to turn off the car, which means you need to turn off the AC
  72. If you don’t have AC, forget about getting a good night’s sleep
  73. Summer is only fun when you have 3 months off
  74. Cuddle season is over, get the hell away from me!
  75. Dehydration
  76. Sunburn
  77. INTENSE SUNLIGHT
  78. It’s difficult to breathe
  79. Thunderstorms are 10x scarier
  80. …Same goes for hurricanes, storms, etc.
  81. I’m dumber in the summer
  82. Heat cramps (look it up on WebMD)
  83. FAINTING
  84. Heat exhaustion
  85. My lawn looks terrible because I refuse to cut it in this heat
  86. I get more headaches
  87. Everyone in department stores says “Thank you, have a good day. Stay cool!” LOL, NO.
  88. There are no good sales from mid-July to August, except Back to School but who cares unless you have children?
  89. Fall is so close, and yet, so far away…
  90. …And this means we’re a LONG way from Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas, the best 30 day period of the year

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