The Worst Game in the World

Hello. Long time no update. This is why: I found the worst game in the entire world.

phone games

If you haven’t downloaded this game yet, do yourself a favor, don’t do it. Take a walk, read a book, find another hobby, do anything else but download this unrelenting game. I’m not saying this to be ironic, I’m not saying this to be funny, I honestly mean it.

Here’s why Candy Crush Saga is the worst game you could possibly download for your phone.

First of all, you’ll actually find it challengingly enjoyable. You’ll spend long hours creating candy, bringing down fruit, and bursting jelly. It’ll put a smile on your face and improve your creative thinking. Embrace your free time with this game while waiting in line, during commercial breaks on TV, and when you don’t feel like paying attention. It’s beyond addicting, to say the least. You’ll be like:

emma stone

But don’t be fooled. It gets worse.

This biggest let down is you get a certain number of lives per half hour. Now what kind of BS is that? You only get 5 lives and once you use them up they make you wait?? That level you’ve been stuck on for the past 10 minutes, forget it! You can’t play until the sad angry counter is done, and even then you only get 1 life. These developers must have some nerve. What makes them think their game is supreme?

Because, every other game towards the end when you’re on your last dying breath defeating the final boss, they at least have the courtesy to ask you if you’d like to continue playing once you die. Even if it makes zero sense in the story.

continue playing

However, if you are desperate enough for more lives, there is a way around it. Candy Crush Saga makes you sign into FACEBOOK and ask your friends for more lives. Which, of course you’ll do, because this life-sucking game. So congratulations, now you’re one of those people who sends annoying invites to friends who X out your name and curse you for a second.

invites

But the absolute most bullshit of them all is, this game has no currency that you earn. Every other game has some form of coinage: Sonic has rings, Mario has coins, Temple Run has gem things, Zelda has rupees, etc… With no money to earn how are you supposed to purchase utilities, upgrades, and other fun things?

Well, here’s what the selfish game developers came up with: you pay ACTUAL money. They charge your credit card for any little upgrade you’d like to have. So parents, don’t be surprised if your iTunes bill is a TAD more than it should be.

large bill

Now, other mobile games have done this, take Draw Something for example. You had to pay to get extra bombs and coins. But they gave you an opportunity to earn coins first. It was extra to cheat.

Candy Crush Saga has a Yeti Shop to purchase extra lives, paint to color candies, etc. And they range from $16.99 to $39.99. I’m sorry, that’s a LITTLE MUCH for a silly game on your smartphone. Maybe I could understand if it was unlimited lives, but for 3 extra little lives? That’s a little over $5 per 7 minute game… I’d rather spend my money on a new pair of Payless shoes that only last a month, thank you.

PAYLESS SHOESOURCE, INC.

There are cheaper options that are 99 cents as well. But the point is, without the coinage, there’s nothing to earn. All you earn is your iTunes bill at the end of the month – which will be a friendly reminder to find another game to become addicted to.

So fellow friends, readers, bloggers, and game-addicts, don’t let the cheerful faces or colorful candies fool you. This game is a monstrosity.

…and with that said, I’m going to go play now. Damn it.

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8 comments

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