In honor of Mother’s Day, here is a list of things my mother has taught me. We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but these are the lessons I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life and make sure my children learn these values as well. It’s been 25 long years, and she’s still teaching me. This is my way of saying “Thanks, Mom.”
What My Mother Taught Me
1. As long as it’s funny, you’re not in trouble.
2. …But when she uses you’re middle name, run.
3. A woman puts perfume in 3 places: on her wrists, on her neck, and she’ll tell me the third one when I’m older.
4. Brown and black do go together but you have to wear it right.
4. Don’t substitute whole milk for skim, or artificial butter for the real stuff when cooking. Especially in any Swedish recipe.
5. A glass (or bottle) of white win can fix anything.
6. Always have a medical kit, a safety kit, a blackout kit, an apocalypse kit, a zombie kit, an emergency kit, and an shit I’m out of alcohol kit, hidden somewhere. Keep one in your car too.
7. Make sure your car is always filled with gas.
8. Tattoos may look “cool” when you first get them, but they’ll turn gray and you’ll hate it later.
9. Never let money be the reason you can’t do something.
10. A house is not a home without a dog.
11. When in WordPress doubt, install a plugin.
12. Nothing is funnier than when people fall down.
13. Don’t be fooled, everyone (and she means everyone) hated high school.
14. If you’re nervous, anxious, or dreading something, take a deep breath and remember: no one is dying, you’re not a brain surgeon.
15. The circle of life.
I love you Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!